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dickrockerjanecrocker:

likesboyswholikeboys:

you can preach about slut-shaming all you want, but you can’t deny there’s something very wrong with 13 and 14-year old girls going out in skirts and dresses so short they barely cover their asses and shirts with necklines so low they show off cleave they haven’t got yet, drinking and even smoking and hooking up with guys before they even have a substantial knowledge of how sex and sexual relationships work.

Thank YOU HOLY SHIT

(Source: anderson-hastings)

Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

nikki minaj is a gross fuck who is overly sexual and uses too many swear words I'd rather listen to something decent like mozart.

queerfabulousmermaid:

il-tenore-regina:

shitrichcollegekidssay:

vivalafro:

shitrichcollegekidssay:

image

Mozart - “Leck mich im Arsch” - Canon in B flat for 6 Voices, K. 231 / K. 382c

ok.

mozart writes about getting that ass licked

nicki sings about getting that ass licked

both true musical masters, honestly

The way art is suppose to be

Best song ever 

true musical masters write about getting that ass licked

"College as explained to me in high school" vs. "College as experienced firsthand"

  • In high school they told us:

    There will be no grades in a class except the midterm and the final, so you have to study hard because failing one test means you fail the class.

  • Once I was in college a professor said:

    Hey, you guys are working really hard on your third paper, so I'm just going to cancel the final and give everyone a hundred on it.

  • In high school they told us:

    In college, class always begins exactly at the scheduled start time. If your class is at 9 AM and you get there at 9:01, the doors will be locked and you'll be out of luck, especially if it's the day of the midterm or final, because then you get a zero.

  • Once I was in college a professor said:

    Does anyone mind if I start class at 3:35 instead of 3:30? These elevators are really slow and I want to have time for a cigarette before I teach for 90 minutes.

  • In high school they told us:

    Every class you miss drops you a full letter grade in college courses.

  • Once I was in college almost every professor said:

    You can miss three classes without a penalty, and a few more if you have a Doctor's note. Sorry to be a hardass, but you automatically fail if you miss more than ten days of class.

  • In high school they told us:

    If you do have papers, your professors just lecture and put the assignments on the syllabus. You're completely responsible for remembering the deadlines, they won't remind you. All your professors will do is lecture and the rest is up to you.

  • Once I was in college a professor said:

    Okay, so your next paper is in two weeks! I'll keep reminding you in the interim, but I just want to make sure you have enough time to do it! Let's run through the structure I want to see real quick, and if you have any questions, feel free to email me or come to my office hours!

  • In high school they told us:

    You have to use MLA formatting and if you make any mistakes in your citations, it'll be considered plagiarism. You'll be expelled and probably sued.

  • Once I was in college almost every professor said:

    Please do not use MLA, it is awful, we use either APA or Chicago here because we are not 14 years old.

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.

Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.

Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.

The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.

I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.

The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.

So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.

Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.

Fucking wasps.

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